This post is from Moms Take Ten episode 122, “Moms in the Bible–Hannah part 2”, which you can listen to wherever you listen to podcasts or at https://sites.libsyn.com/403493/moms-in-the-bible-hannah-part-2
Most of us are familiar with the woman Hannah from the Bible. She was the mom who suffered greatly because of her infertility, sought the Lord and her prayers were answered. She had a son named Samuel and she had other children after him, miracle upon miracle!
One interesting part of Hannah’s story is the vow that she made to the Lord, the bargain she struck with him. We read it in 1 Samuel 1:11, “Making a vow, she pleaded, “Lord of Armies, if you will take notice of your servant’s affliction, remember and not forget me, and give your servant a son, I will give him to the Lord all the days of his life, and his hair will never be cut.”” This wasn’t a figurative, “I will raise him to know you.” or “I will recognize that he is from you and live like he is yours.” She literally meant that she would place him in the temple of the Lord to grow up, away from her, raised by other people.
I remember when each of our sons’ birth moms asked us to adopt their boys. It was a deeply humbling moment to hear that we were chosen by them to care for and be the parents to the children that they loved. What a difficult decision for those two moms to come to. They studied us. They analyzed what they knew about us and they considered what they dreamed of for their children. They determined as best they could if we would be safe, if we would love well, if we would provide the type of future they desired for their children, and they chose us. They entrusted us with their beautiful, precious babies.
It is a vulnerable thing to place your child in someone else’s hands and hope, pray, that they will care for them as well as you desire. We do this all the time as parents in the short term—church nursery workers, babysitters, teachers, and coaches. That can be enough of a challenge! I often shake my head when I think about how young I was when I began babysitting. Why did anyone trust me?! I hesitate to hire anyone for even a date night. But for the long term? I am far more comfortable being the one welcoming someone else’s child. The thought of sending my children to live with someone else brings tears to my eyes.
Yet, Hannah did just that! She placed her sweet Samuel, who she had waited and prayed for, into the hands of someone else to raise.
What is more, she placed him in hands that no birth mom that I know would willingly choose.
Hannah’s husband Elkanah would take his whole family, Hannah included, to worship in the place where Eli’s sons were priests. It is into Eli’s hands that Hannah places Samuel. That sounds good so far, right? A God-fearing family serving the Lord as priests. But things were not as perfect as they seem.
Eli’s sons had quite the reputation. They were dishonest, deceitful, greedy, lustful, sinful men. The Bible says, “Thus the sin of the young men was very great in the sight of the Lord, for the men treated the offering of the Lord with contempt.” (1 Sam. 2:17) Eli himself is chastised by the Lord for his parenting, for allowing his sons to get away with it all and even partaking of the food that his sons were stealing from the offerings.
Considering that Elkanah and Hannah had been worshiping there year after year, they would have known this. They would have encountered Hophni and Phinehas, Eli’s sons. They would have had to give part of the sacrifices intended for the Lord to the men. They would have seen and heard of the disreputable conduct of the priests. Hannah would have known exactly who Samuel would have been growing up alongside. Hannah knew, and she placed Samuel in their care just the same. More than that, she rejoiced when she did so.
How is that possible?
It is because her eyes were fixed on the Lord. She rejoiced in Him. She declared that, though it was into the physical hands and care of Eli and his sons, she was actually placing Samuel into the hands of God. “Therefore I have lent him to the Lord. As long as he lives, he is lent to the Lord.” (1 Sam. 1:28) She chose to look beyond the situation in front of her to the person and character of the God that she had come to know and love. She recognized that he was bigger than Eli, bigger than his sons, bigger than herself. The Lord had answered her request by giving her a son, and therefore he could be trusted to take care of her son.
Many of us are not in positions where we are placing our children to be raised by someone else. But the need for us to release our children to God is no less real. It is a heart posture that he is inviting us to. “Will you trust me with them?” he says. “Will you trust that I have the best for them? That I know the best for them?” This heart posture has implications for how we parent our children and interact with them and view them.
Let’s put it like this. If we think we are the ones in complete control, the ones with ultimate responsibility, for our children then their behavior, emotions, choices, successes and failures all fall on our shoulders. One of the ways that Connected Families phrases this belief is, “My child is my report card.” Another thought that comes from this belief is “My child is struggling and it is my fault.” or “I have to make sure everything goes ok or their life will be ruined” or “If I let them choose, they will never choose well.” or “No one else can be trusted with them! I’m the only one who can. I’m the only one who really cares.” There are a lot of ways that this could sound in our train of thought but it comes from the place of control and an enlarged view of our responsibility for our children.
I was convicted about this during a conversation with my parent coach. If you have never met with a parent coach, I highly encourage it! Check out the show notes for a link to my website with all the details about the parent coaching I offer. And yes, even parent coaches benefit from parent coaching! We all need someone in our corner supporting and challenging us.
Anway, we were talking about this recurring struggle that I have been having with one of my children where they won’t accept the answer that I’ve given. Katie reminded me that sometimes the back and forth is really the child trying to avoid the discomfort that comes from accepting the answer. And by my continued engagement, I’m trying to help them avoid it too! Because I don’t want them to be sad or disappointed. I’m trying to control the emotions. “Allow him to be sad,” she said. “That’s his choice. You don’t have to make him feel better right away to be providing what he needs.” Put another way, I needed to release him to his own choice.
And I can do that more easily, not by thinking about how wonderful and amazing my child is and how I’m sure they are going to make great choices (cause that’s not always true!) but by thinking about who my God is and how much he loves and cares for my child. God is at work in my child’s heart and life. I can release the process to him while doing what I can to support them on their journey.
That’s really what stands out to me about Hannah. Her faith. Just like we spoke about last week regarding the straight path. Straight doesn’t mean easy and smooth but rather that it does indeed get us to our true destination which is the Lord. Hannah was focused on the true destination of the Lord. She, as with Jochebed before her who released Moses in the river and again into the arms of Pharaoh’s daughter, understood that she needed to take the risk and release her child so that he could be who God intended him to be. She had made a vow and she could have the courage to fulfill that vow because of the God she made it to. She was right. God was faithful and the Scriptures tell us that “the boy Samuel grew in the presence of the Lord.” (1 Sam 2:21b) He became a great leader. He anointed the first two kings of Israel—Saul and David. He followed the Lord for his whole life. God used him mightily for his good purpose.
There are two more beautiful nuggets of information that the Bible gives us about Hannah and Samuel.
Hannah’s relationship with Samuel did not end after she placed him in the care of the Lord and of Eli. It grew year after year. “And his mother used to make for him a little robe and take it to him each year when she went up with her husband to offer the yearly sacrifice.” (1 Sam. 2:19) She thought of him and cared for him, and he knew it. This speaks to my heart so much as a foster and adoptive mama because I know the importance of a continued relationship between my children and their birth families. One of our birth families gifted me a beautiful necklace for Mother’s Day one year. It is a triangle, with each point of the triangle representing a member of the adoption triad (our family, our son, and his family). In the middle of the triangle is a heart emphasizing how we are connected, we are tied together, by mutual love for our child and for each other. Some parents do place their children and walk away for various reasons, but many, if they are given the chance, continue the relationship as best they can. Hannah was still Samuel’s mama, even though he lived away from her.
This relationship continued into Samuel’s adulthood. As he grew in leadership, judging Israel, he would travel to the various towns in Israel. “Then he would return to Ramah, for his home was there…” (1 Sam. 7:17) Do you remember Ramah? That is where Elkanah and Hannah lived. Samuel chose their hometown, his birth place, to be his home. Each time he returned home from his journeys, he would have been able to see his five siblings that his parents had been blessed with, his nieces and nephews, and for as long as they were alive, his parents, who loved him dearly.
Releasing Samuel didn’t prevent relationship with him. It was different than it would have been otherwise, but it was beautiful just the same. I have found that releasing my children to the Lord actually makes my relationship with them so much better. And when it doesn’t, God is still there and he is still trustworthy. Doing what he has called me to do is always the right thing.
Image from John Heseltine / Pam Masco / FreeBibleimages.org.
Lyssa Stoyko 