This post is from Moms Take Ten episode 21, “Moms in the Bible–Leah and Rachel”, which you can listen to wherever you listen to podcasts or at https://sites.libsyn.com/403493/moms-in-the-bible-leah-and-rachel
Leah and Rachel were sisters, daughters of Laban, and nieces of Rebekah. One day, their cousin Jacob arrived. He had been sent to Haran by Isaac and Rebekah. Rebekah wanted to protect him from the wrath of his brother Esau, and hoped that he would find a wife in the process. It must have been a long, hard journey because when Jacob realized he had arrived he began to sob. Rachel, upon hearing his story, quickly ran to get her father. One month later, an agreement was made between Jacob and Laban. Jacob would work for seven years and in exchange, Laban would let him marry Rachel, the daughter he had fallen in love with. Seven years later, Laban played a nasty trick on Jacob and gave him Leah instead. Jacob was furious and formed another agreement with Laban to marry Rachel as well. Both sisters were now wife to the same man. Rachel was loved but Leah was not. What ensued was a constant competition for the affection of their husband and the honor of having his children.
Rarely does comparison or competition of this nature end well and bring joy. Proverbs 14:30 says, “A tranquil heart gives life to the flesh, but envy makes the bones rot.” In the book of James, we are warned that “where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice.” (3:16). We saw this disorder in Leah and Rachel’s family, between them as well as between their children. Leah traded her son’s mandrakes (used in that culture as a fertility drug or charm) to Rachel for the chance to sleep with Jacob. Both Rachel and Leah gave their servants to their husband in hopes of getting more children, which just added to the disorder of the family. When the sons were older, Leah’s children were envious of their father’s relationship with Joseph so they sold him in to slavery. (Genesis 37) Judah failed at caring for his daughter-in-law so she chose to seduce him in order to secure an heir. (Genesis 38) Reuben slept with his father’s concubine, and lost his birthright because of it. (Genesis 35, 49). Though rightfully provoked by the rape of their sister, Simeon and Levi were fierce and cruel in their revenge. (Genesis 34). Disorder and sin because jealousy existed within the hearts of the mamas and their children. Sadly, it appears that both Leah and Rachel’s lives ended in this state of discord and sorrow.
There is a sick feeling in my stomach when I read of the fighting between Leah and Rachel. That is not the life I want for myself or for my children. In their story, I see bones rotting, but I wish for a tranquil heart that gives life to the flesh. I do not want a marriage filled with insecurity and vying for affection, but rather one where we can be naked and unashamed. I do not want a god who is simply there to do my bidding. I want a relationship with God who rejoices over me with gladness and quiets me with his love.
Yet, it is so easy for me to be lured into the trap of comparison, of jealousy. They have a better house than I do. They live in a state that has better weather. Their child is better behaved than mine is. That mom is better at disciplining than I am. She never gets angry at her children. She is way more fun of a mom than I am. The list goes on and on. I was on a family trip with my siblings and all our children, and decided to join a parenting conversation with my brother and brother-in-law. I left the conversation feeling so overwhelmingly insecure. As I processed my feelings with my husband that night, I shared how it seemed as though they, and even my husband, go to work all day and grow in their ability to communicate, to be professionals, and I stay home with my toddlers, slowly losing all ability to put a multi-word sentence together. The lies of comparison and jealousy poured into my heart and mind, and I lost sight of who I was in God’s eyes and how he was growing me in so many ways.
How do we leave the rat race and find peace? How do we cultivate healthy and strong relationships? There are many places in Scripture that we can turn to for answers to those questions, and I hope you will spend time seeking those out for yourself. For now, I would like to look at what David wrote in Psalm 16.
You Will Not Abandon My Soul
A Miktam of David.
16 Preserve me, O God, for in you I take refuge.
2 I say to the Lord, “You are my Lord;
I have no good apart from you.”
3 As for the saints in the land, they are the excellent ones,
in whom is all my delight.
4 The sorrows of those who run afteranother god shall multiply;
their drink offerings of blood I will not pour out
or take their names on my lips.
5 The Lord is my chosen portion and my cup;
you hold my lot.
6 The lines have fallen for me in pleasant places;
indeed, I have a beautiful inheritance.
7 I bless the Lord who gives me counsel;
in the night also my heart instructs me.
8 I have set the Lord always before me;
because he is at my right hand, I shall not be shaken.
9 Therefore my heart is glad, and my whole being rejoices;
my flesh also dwells secure.
10 For you will not abandon my soul to Sheol,
or let your holy one see corruption.
11 You make known to me the path of life;
in your presence there is fullness of joy;
at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.
In this psalm, David is asking that God would preserve him for eternity, that physical death would not be the end of his relationship with God. In his request, he makes some beautiful statements about who God is and what that means for us. David declares, “You are my Lord; I have no good apart from you.” He recognizes that all else in his life pales in comparison to who the Lord is. He expands on this thought in verse 5 when he says that the Lord is his chosen portion and cup. With a table laden with choices before him, David chooses God as his daily bread and drink. He knows that nothing else will satisfy, nothing else will taste as good.
It is this good God, this satisfying God, that holds his lot. Casting lots in Bible times was a way to come to a decision, to determine an outcome. David understands that God is the one who determines his way. Because God holds his lot, where David is and what he has are pleasant and beautiful. As David takes refuge in and tastes of God, God gives counsel, guiding him in what to do and where to go. This results in a life where David is unshakeable. Come what may, he will stand within the lines God has established for him. This prompts David to celebrate! His heart, indeed his whole being, rejoices and he lives secure that the Lord will not abandon him or let him see corruption. God will answer his request for preservation.
What a life to live! How much better to live in the pleasant places of God than in the throes of envy and competition. When we take refuge in God and establish him as Lord of our lives, everything changes. The bones that were rotting become strong and healthy. As we resist the temptation to constantly compare ourselves to those around us, or to the images that we see in social media, we can begin to claim the truths of God’s word in our hearts. As we silence the noise of the world, we start to tune in to the sweet singing of God over us. We can look at a fellow mama and see a friend instead of a rival. We can see our husband as the man he is instead of asking him to be who God is supposed to be. We can put our children in their rightful place, as a gift of God, to be loved and raised to his glory. We can look to God and declare, “You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.”
Choose him for your portion and cup and let his sweet taste satisfy your deepest longings. Discover the fullness of joy he offers to you today.
Lyssa Stoyko 