This post is from Moms Take Ten episode 121, “Parenting in Scripture–Straight Paths”, which you can listen to wherever you listen to podcasts or at https://sites.libsyn.com/403493/parenting-in-scripture-straight-paths
My heart has been heavy the past few weeks over the struggles of parenting. Friends are wrestling through difficult questions like “how do I support my child with ADHD?” “What do I do with the aggression my child displays?” “how do I help my child navigate through their adoption trauma?” “should I place my child in a group home?” This is on top of the day-to-day questions of what food to make for dinner, who needs to be driven where, what homework needs to be done, etc. We’ve said it before and we say it again, parenting is hard. Life itself is hard. There are health issues, work stress, relational disagreements, financial hardships, weather wreaking havoc, and more and more and more. And my heart grows heavy.
“Take heart,” says the Lord. (John 16:33)
To take heart requires trust. Trust in the one who said the words and in his plan and purpose. The passage that I want us to look at today also calls us to trust. It is a familiar passage that has spoken to me afresh lately, Proverbs 3:5-6. It says: “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.” (NIV)
When I read the end of those verses, I picture a straight path and I see ease, smoothness, a beautiful journey in the open countryside. The Bible speaks about paths a lot. Proverbs 4:26 (NIV) encourages believers to carefully consider the path for our feet so that our ways will be established. There’s the good path to be on, the one the righteous walk on, and the wrong path, the one the unrighteous traverse on. The wrong path has holes and traps and all sorts of things we don’t want. We want the good, the straight.
So why if I am following the Lord does my path feel so hard? Why are these moms who love the Lord so much struggling so much in their parenting? Why are our children who are growing in their love for the Lord struggling so much in their faith and lives?
I think that perhaps I, and maybe you, have some wrong expectations about the whole thing.
We were, if you recall the Scriptures, told that life would be hard. Right before the Lord said to take heart, he said that in this world we will have troubles. Right after, he said, “I have overcome the world.” We can take heart because of Him and the work he is doing, and in fact, has already done.
Ruth Chou Simons, in her book Gracelaced, said, “The straightness of the path has less to do with the ease of our travel than the direction of our true destination.” Let me say that again, “The straightness of the path has less to do with the ease of our travel than the direction of our true destination.”
This leads us to ask, “What is our true destination?”
Psalm 16:11 (NIV) says, “You have made known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand.” The psalmist is linking the path of life to the Lord’s presence. Our true destination is the Lord. He is making our path straight to him.
One day, we will be in the Lord’s presence in the glory of the new heaven and new earth, which we spoke about last month. For now, we are in the Lord’s presence here on earth in the midst of the hard and broken and also beautiful. Listen to what Isaiah 43:1-2 (NIV) says,
But now, this is what the Lord says—
he who created you, Jacob,
he who formed you, Israel:
“Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;
I have summoned you by name; you are mine.
When you pass through the waters,
I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers,
they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire,
you will not be burned;
the flames will not set you ablaze.
He doesn’t say, I will remove the waters completely or quench the fire. Those circumstances might still be there, but if they remain, he remains with us in them, protecting us from them, and guiding us through them. We are safe, on the straight path, because he is with us and we are following him.
This is why we are exhorted to trust in the Lord with all our hearts and not lean on our own understanding. We can, and should, do all the research to help our child with ADHD or to learn about adoption trauma or speak with medical personnel about our health issues, etc. But we are not to lean on that knowledge alone. We are to submit that knowledge to him and seek his wisdom and his understanding. We are to acknowledge him in all of it rather than say, “It’s ok! I’ve got this! The experts already told me all that I need.” In her book Filled, Jamie Finn said, “A humble woman surrenders her knowledge before His.” I want to read the whole paragraph because she points us to some really great passages in Scripture.
“A humble woman surrenders her knowledge before His. “Have you not known? Have you not heard?” Isaiah questions us. “The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth…his understanding is unsearchable” (40:28 ESV). “Oh the depth of the riches and wisdom and knowledge of God!” Paul reminds us. “How unsearchable are his judgments and how inscrutable his ways!” (Rom. 11:33ESV)
Later, she says, “We are told not to lean on our own understanding because trusting Him is a far better proposition.”
And when we go through the hard, we can hold on to his hand, his goodness, and his purpose. We can remember that he uses all of it for good. (Rom. 8:28)
There are numerous passages in Scripture that attest to that, like Romans 5:3-5 which says, “Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.” You can also look up James 1:2-4 or 1 Peter 1:3-7, to name a couple more.
The psalmist earlier spoke of joy, being filled with it. Of eternal pleasures in the presence of God.
In the 23rd psalm, we read of green pastures, quiet waters, the comfort of the rod and staff, a banquet laid out for us, of goodness and mercy forever.
Ephesians 1 is an incredible passage of what God has done and is doing in our lives and the incredible privileges we receive because of it.
His presence brings about those things–eternal things, growth in our character, and in our faith.
And also God answers prayers in the physical, the mental, the relational. There are times when he does indeed quench the fire or take our path around it so we don’t even know there was a risk! There are times when eyes are opened, lame walk, the dead are raised. When our child learns to self-regulate. When our teen gets a job and keeps it! When our adult child builds a wonderfully healthy home despite the brokenness of their first experiences. When we take deep breaths and lower our voice instead of yelling at the misbehaving child in front of us. Oh yes, God answers prayer. And for that we rejoice! Just as we rejoice in his presence in the hard.
There are good things happening on this straight path even if the journey is hard. And there is so much more good coming!
I want to end by reading one more excerpt from Gracelaced by Ruth Chou Simons.
“The biggest decision you and I face today may not be what we will do next, but whom we will trust. It’s not warm feelings and wishful thinking we’re told to put our trust in. We’re to trust in the God who led His people into the desert so they might know the end of their power and the fullness of His provision. He’s doing the same with us this day.”
Praying for you, Mama.
Lyssa Stoyko 