This post is from Moms Take Ten episode 61, “Moms in the Bible–Herodias”, which you can listen to wherever you listen to podcasts or at https://sites.libsyn.com/403493/moms-in-the-bible-herodias
We have come to the end of the moms in the Bible that will be included in the book I am writing. However, there are other mamas in the Bible that I want to look at on Moms Take Ten. There isn’t enough of their story to write a whole chapter on them, but they still have things that they can teach us. Staying in the New Testament, let’s look at some of the moms that were around during Jesus’ time. Now, John the Baptist, Jesus’ cousin, was imprisoned sometime after he baptized Jesus. His imprisonment was actually an act of grace because someone had demanded his execution. That someone was Herodias. All of the other moms that we have studied so far had redeeming qualities about them. Not Herodias. Her story is different from all the others in that she did not acknowledge or believe in God and her life showed it. Hers is a cautionary tale found in Matthew 14 and Mark 6.
Herodias was the second wife of Herod Antipas. Herod the Great had been the one who, after being visited by the wise men and informed of a new king’s birth, decided to kill all boys under two years old to ensure that no new king would rise up and take his place of power. His son, Herod Antipas, is now in power and isn’t quite as eager as his father to shed blood. Having met and listened to John the Baptist’s teachings, the Bible says “he was greatly perplexed, and yet he heard him gladly.” The problem was that John the Baptist had confronted Herod Antipas and Herodias about their relationship, saying “It is not lawful for you to have your brother’s wife.” The two of them had divorced their spouses (including Herod’s brother) so that they could marry each other. Their marriage had not only broken marital bonds but also political alliances. It was a big deal that they were together. John’s stance against them was causing them public embarrassment, and Herodias was furious with him.
She did not want to be confronted, or held accountable. She was happy with the choice that she had made and she did not want anyone to say otherwise. Rather than looking into the mirror that John was holding up and repenting of the sin, she dug her heels in. As with Sarah, in reaction to Hagar’s scorn, Herodias gave vent to her anger in a destructive, life impacting way. Mark 6:19-20 said, “And Herodias had a grudge against him and wanted to put him to death. But she could not, for Herod feared John, knowing that he was a righteous and holy man, and he kept him safe.”
Herodias was forced to live with the knowledge that John the Baptist was still alive. Time went on, and her grudge stayed firmly in place. As we continue the story, we realize that she was merely biding her time until an opportunity arose. That opportunity came when her daughter danced for Herod at his birthday party. Her dancing was so pleasing that he made a rash promise–she could have anything she wanted, up to half of his kingdom. Seeking guidance from her mother, the daughter asked what she should choose. Herodias seized the opportunity and demanded the head of John the Baptist.
There are two cautions that I have been thinking about from this story.
First, we should seek and be thankful for accountability. This can come from a myriad of sources–the Holy Spirit speaking to us through his word and our time with him, a friend, parent or husband. Sometimes it can come through our children. However it comes, It doesn’t always come in ways that we appreciate in the moment.
I hear “you are a mean mama” or “stupid baby mama” or other creative uses of the English language often. I might get annoyed. I might want to argue all the ways that I am not mean. I might become angry with his or her tone of voice and facial expressions. Kids say a lot of things when they are angry. I could write it off each time as being rude or a sign he is dysregulated. But maybe, just maybe, what our children are trying to express and don’t know how to do well, is actually intended to hold us accountable and remind us of the type of parent that we want to be.
We were getting into the car to go somewhere, which is always a very stressful time, and my voice was getting louder and angrier. My son spoke up from the back, “be kind mama.” Biting back all the reasons why I didn’t feel like being kind, I said, “Thank you for the reminder” and quietly took some breaths. I didn’t like to hear it but I needed to.
Proverbs has some pretty great verses about people who refuse to be held accountable. My favorite is
Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge,
but he who hates reproof is stupid. Proverbs 12:1
In Revelation 3:19 it says, “Those whom I love, I reprove and discipline, so be zealous and repent.”
Ask God to check you and correct you. Invite others to hold you accountable. Be open with close friends and family about your struggles so they can help you grow in those areas. Be honest with your children about the work that you are doing to be a better mama and follower of Jesus so that they can join you in the journey.
The second caution is how our actions impact our children. There’s another great verse in Proverbs about accountability that says:
Whoever heeds instruction is on the path to life,
but he who rejects reproof leads others astray. Proverbs 10:17
Herodias refused to listen to John the Baptist. She spent months, maybe even a year or two, simmering in her anger and resentment. Her daughter had witnessed her infidelity, her divorce, her remarriage, and now she was watching as her mother stood firm in her sin. Herodias had probably made derisive comments in front of her daughter about John. Perhaps that is why her daughter came to her with the king’s offer. Maybe she saw it as a way to help her mother get what she wanted. Or perhaps it was the innocent inquiry of a daughter to a mother, looking for wisdom. Regardless, Herodias allowed her personal vendetta to get in the way of her parenting, and what could have been an opportunity to bless her daughter, and brought blood upon both their hands.
If we are unwilling to listen to instruction or reproof, or to make the corrections necessary, then we are modeling for our children unrepentance, hardness of heart, lack of teachability, self-righteousness, pride and so many other things that we would never want them to act or be like. In doing so, we are leading them astray from what God is calling all of us to. We are teaching them to resist instruction, to get cozy with sin, and to stand with others when they do the same.
There are seemingly small and insignificant ways that we do this with our children that make a big impact. Most of us will probably, hopefully, not be asking our child to help carry out a murder. Perhaps we have a sugar addiction or other unhealthy relationship with food and we teach our children to look at food the same way. Maybe we are upset with our mother or mother-in-law and we model disrespect during family gatherings. Some of us might be in a difficult co-parenting situation and the temptation to speak ill of our partner is just too much and we bring our children into our frustration and criticism. Whatever it is, our sin is never where we want to be leading our children.
The reality is that our children will bear witness to our sin daily. The call is not to perfection but to humility and obedience. When our children see us sin, we also want them to bear witness to our confession, repentance and efforts to correct the wrongs. We can apologize. We can ask to do the interaction over. We can ask them how we can make things right. We can talk about how it is a struggle for us but we are looking to Jesus for help. We can pray together. We can make life changes to support our efforts. There are so many ways that we can model to our children a life submitted to the Lord. That is what we want to invite our children into, to be able to say as Paul did in 1 Corinthians 11, “Be imitators of me, as I am of Christ.” By God’s grace, let it be so.
Image from John Heseltine / Pam Masco / FreeBibleimages.org.
Lyssa Stoyko 