This post is from episode 1, I am a mess, God is not, which you can listen to wherever you listen to podcasts or at https://sites.libsyn.com/403493/i-am-a-mess-god-is-not
I am a mess.
I would imagine that you are too. At least we all have our moments, right? Where we think we’re doing well and then we realize that we are just not parenting the way that we want to be parenting, or we encounter a situation that we feel lost in. Something is going on with our kids and we don’t know what to do. A life situation has sprung up that we weren’t necessarily prepared for, which throws us in a little bit of a tail spin.
Yeah, I am a mess. I don’t have it all together. That’s not what this podcast or blog is about by any means. This space is about the incredible reality that despite being a mess God is gracious and God is good. So let’s talk about that today.
A couple of years ago, I did a devotional by Melissa Krueger called Walking with God in the Season of Motherhood. I really enjoyed and recommend it. One day, she quoted an excerpt from an essay by someone named John James. It was a summary about what motherhood is from his longer, more intense full essay, titled “To Young Mothers”. I found it really powerful.
“And now, to sum up all, consider–
A mother’s charge—an immortal creature.
A mother’s duty—to train him up for God, heaven and eternity.
A mother’s dignity—to educate the family of the Almighty Creator of the universe.
A mother’s difficulty—to raise a fallen sinful creature to holiness and virtue.
A mother’s encouragement—the promise of Divine grace to assist her in her momentous duties.
A mother’s relief—to bear the burden of her cares to God in prayer.
A mother’s hope—to meet her child in glory everlasting, and spend eternal ages of delight with him before the throne of God and the Lamb.”
(The full essay can be found here: https://www.gracegems.org/20/female_piety12.htm)
I really appreciated this for a couple of reasons. One, I felt like it put in bigger perspective my role as a mom. My children are not designed just for the here and now, for life on earth, under my roof, or even life as adults. They are designed for the eternal. Therefore, my perspective as a parent should be an eternal perspective. This is huge and awesome and heavy in responsibility. The weight of it can feel like too much some days…
Until I remember the second part, where he points to our encouragement–that we have the promise of grace to help us, we can bear our burdens to God in prayer, and find relief so that we can have hope that one day we will be with our children in heaven.
In the middle of the summary is this line: A mother’s difficulty—to raise a fallen sinful creature to holiness and virtue. I would definitely say that the sinfulness of my children makes this challenging. I would also say that the sinfulness of myself makes this really challenging. Even if my children were not sinful, I still think that parenting would be hard because of my own sinfulness.
Mary, the mother of Jesus, had the immense blessing of raising a son who never sinned. That, however, did not mean that her role as his mother was easy. She wrestled with it, with his calling and ministry, and what her response should be to it. We see this when she was scared he was lost on the way home from the temple, and when she tried to call Jesus out of ministry. She was a sinner and needed to sort things out despite having a perfect child. So when I see the line about a mother’s difficulty, I want to add: a fallen sinful creature working to raise a fallen sinful creature to holiness and virtue. Because, my junk gets in the way. Lord, help me. I wish it didn’t, but it does. That is why we have to hold on to the encouragement, relief and hope sections that are full of God’s grace.
Along these lines, I have a couple of passages that I want to share with us.
Ephesians 2:4-10 says, “But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved—and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works which God prepared beforehand , that we should walk in them.”
Mamas, we have been created by God for good works which includes the raising of our children. God prepared this beforehand. He knew that our children were coming to us, for however long they are with us. Whether you are fostering, hosting through Safe Families, adopting, or have biological children. However long they are with you, he prepared you and them beforehand.
In Titus 2, when Paul is given the exhort on teaching what accords with sound doctrine, he goes from older men to older women, then younger women, he says, “and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.”
We are familiar with this passage probably, but let’s jump down to verse 11.
“For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation for all people, training us to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in the present age, waiting for our blessed hope, the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior Jesus Christ”
God’s grace is training us!
Going back to the essay, let us remember the encouragement–that we have the “promise of divine grace to assist us in our momentous duties.” Our relief is that we can “bear the burden of our cares to God in prayer.” And our hope, praise the Lord! Our hope is that we will one day meet our child or our children “in glory everlasting and spend eternal ages of delight with him before the throne of God and the lamb.”
God knows you are a mess. He knew you’d be a mess when he chose these children for you. He is strong, faithful and he will carry you through. He will carry them through as well. It is his grace, mercy and love. I for one am so thankful for that.
Lyssa Stoyko 